It's almost that time...
On 05.24.10, In TV, By AC Slater
That's it folks, after 6 years it's finally over, was it everything you expected? I'm guessing not, but surprisingly I was pretty happy with the ending. I do want to get one thing out of the way before we dive into this though, there was no reason for this episode to be 2.5 hrs long. It was pretty obvious they only extended it from the original 2 hrs so that they could fit in more commercials. There was literally a commercial every 5 minutes and where we were watching it we didn't have access to a DVR so we had to watch it live (I know, we're spoiled). So now with that out of the way, let's dive into the episode. I'm not going to give a recap of the entire 2.5 hours because I'm sure if you're reading this, you watched it, so I'm just going to talk about how I felt about it and what I thought was happening. [and of course after finishing this post I realized that it's hard to write about things without doing a semi-recap]
If you haven't seen the episode I would recommend you STOP READING right now, this is going to start with SPOILERS and never stop....
Let's start with the island reality... it was all real, 100%. Everything that we saw that happened on the island up until Jack dying at the end was completely real. That being said, it does make it pretty obvious that a lot of the stuff that was happening over the past few seasons was "filler", most of which would serve no purpose in getting to the final goal. I feel that the main point of the island reality was just a "game" between Jacob and The Man In Black and they were using people as pawns in this game. The Man in Black just wanted to leave the island and couldn't kill Jacob himself, who was protecting the way off the island, so he needed to manipulate someone, in this case Ben, to kill Jacob for him, or at least that's what he wanted people to think... maybe. At some points I thought that his end game was always to destroy the island and not to leave, but then I think back to how he sent Sayid to kill Desmond and he didn't, and things like that, and that makes me lean back towards the fact that he was really trying to leave the island, but either way it doesn't really matter. Whether he left the island or destroyed it, it was going to have grave consequences for everyone on the island (and possibly those outside the island as well). So we know the intentions of The Man in Black and Jacob's sole purpose was to protect the "light" and keep the Man in Black from finding it, hence the need for MiB to kill Jacob as I mentioned above. And Jacob wasn't lying when he said told the "Losties" that the reason he brought them there was to find a new candidate to protect the light from the Man in Black. He knew that MiB would eventually find a way to kill him so he needed to find his successor.
In the end, Desmond did exactly what I thought he was going to do, although not quite in the way I had predicted. He goes down to the source of the light and removes the "plug" that was giving the island it's power. Since this power is now gone, the smoke monster aka Locke aka the Man in Black, is able to be killed. And it's during the fight scene between Jack and "Locke" that we start to get an idea about the alternate reality and that maybe there's something we're missing. During the fight Jack is stabbed in his right side near where your appendix would be, he's also cut along his neck (which are the two wounds we see on Jack in the flash sideways') before Kate shoots "Locke", thus saving Jack. Ultimately it's Jack that kills the Man in Black by pushing him over the cliff towards the water, although he lands on a lower cliff and dies. This kind of mirrored the way that Jacob was killed, being stabbed by an outside character and then being kicked into the fire by The Man in Black. So I guess you could argue that it was Kate that actually killed the Man in Black since "Jacob/Jack" supposedly couldn't, but I think with the power being drained from the island, anyone could have killed him just the same (but at the time Jacob was killed that wasn't the case).
So with the Man in Black dead and Jack on the verge of death after being stabbed, he heads back to the source of the light to try and restore it. It's at this point that he knows that he's going to die and that someone still needs to protect the light, from what I can only assume are other people that may happen upon the island in the future, like Widmore's people, but I'm not entirely sure of this one. It can't be from the Man in Black anymore, cause he's dead. So he makes Hurley drink from the stream and supposedly "he's like him now", but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case because the power to the island hadn't been restored yet so I think Hurley was still exactly how he was, but either way he believed he had to protect the light. This would also explain why Richard got the gray hair, he started to age as soon as the light went out, thus removing the power of immortality. Jack then went down and pulled Desmond to safety, tying him to the rope they had used to get down there and then "restarted" the island by putting the plug back into the hole. So Hurley and Ben see that the light is restarted and pull the rope up thinking it's Jack, but it's Desmond.
Now this is where I was a little confused, but after thinking about it, it makes sense (well, sense in the LOST world). So Jack is laying in the pool with the light, which is full of electromagnetism (which is why Desmond was the only one that could pull the plug). We see later that Jack has been transported to another part of the island, the same part of the island that the Man in Black's body was sent to after he was pushed down the hole by Jacob, thus becoming the smoke monster.... So why didn't Jack become the smoke monster as well? I have two thoughts on this, the first one being that Jack hadn't actually killed the previous smoke monster like the Man in Black did when he killed his "mother". Yep, that's right, I'm pretty sure the crazy lady that took care of Jacob and the Man in Black in that flashback episode was the smoke monster originally. I discussed why in my write up of that episode, but essentially it boils down to the fact that there's no way she could have killed that whole village and filled in that well if she wasn't smokey. So that's my one theory, the Man in Black stabbed the original smoke monster in the back, thus becoming "evil" and so when he was pushed into the light he turned into smokey. My other theory was that since he was wounded it didn't work the same, but the more I think about it, the Man in Black was pretty beat up when he pushed down into the hole... so I really think that my first theory is what happened.
So after Hurley and Ben pull Desmond up Hurley realizes that he now has to protect the light source, but doesn't think he can do it alone so he asks Ben to help. Meanwhile, while Jack was trying to restart the island, Miles, Kate, Frank and Claire get on the Ajira plane and take off... eventually making it home safe (I'm assuming). Jack then wanders into the island and collapses due to his stab wound eventually dying.
Now, this is where the actual "Flash Sideways'" are occurring... in the afterlife. Yep, every flash sideways that has happened this season has been after they have all died. And that doesn't mean that they all died on the island, because that wouldn't make sense for some of them, it's just a place that all of them created, a life they all would have wanted had they not crashed on the island originally, a happier place that they could all find each other in, a place where the island only existed on the bottom of the ocean. But none of them realize that until they all make it there, meaning they all die, and experience something from their past life that makes them remember everything that happened to them. Whether that's meeting up with someone you fell in love with or a significant event that you'd never forget, it was those experiences that brought the original memories rushing back. Basically it was purgatory and they needed to remember in order to let go and move on. And again, this brings more meaning to those famous words from Desmond "see you in another life, brotha" (I could be off on the exact phrase, but that's the gist of it). And the catalyst that started the memories was Widmore blasting Desmond with the electromagnetism earlier this season, that event must have been so powerful on the island that it caused him to remember everything in the afterlife, since the hatch exploding due to the failed pressing of the button and turning the fail safe key was a major incident that happened to him, thus allowing him to get people together to make them remember.
And in the end, they all end up in the church where Jack is supposed to have the funeral for his father, but a few people are missing. Last week we saw Ana Lucia, but Desmond said that she wasn't ready yet, I think this is because she killed Shannon in the island life. This is also the same reason why Michael is not in the church, since he killed Ana Lucia. And as for Walt, I think the reason he was not in the church in the end is because he's not dead yet. And we also see Ben sitting outside the church when Locke pulls up, but he doesn't go in. I believe that he doesn't think he's worthy due to all of the bad things that he did over the years on the island. It's also at this point that we see that Hurley and Ben protected the island together until their deaths as Hurley makes a comment to Ben about being a great number 2 and Ben makes a comment about Hurley being a great number 1.
Jack and Kate were the last ones to arrive at the church. Kate goes in ahead of him as Jack still doesn't understand as he hasn't quite let go yet. Upon going in the backdoor and laying his hand on his father's coffin, he begins to finally remember. There's an emotion meeting with his father when he realizes that he is also dead, as with everyone else. It's here that Christian Shephard explains that everyone dies and some died before Jack and some after, and they all made this place, their afterlife, as a place to find those people that had such an impact on their lives. I liked the fact that even though that scene took place in a church, the back room that Jack and Christian spoke in had artifacts and nods to every religion somewhere in it.
Cut to an emotional reunion of everyone in the main hall of the church followed by Christian opening the door to the church allowing light to flood in. And then a brilliant final scene of Jack laying down in the jungle on the island, Vincent the dog laying next to him, close up on his eye as we've seen at the beginning of the series and so many episodes, but this time the eye closes instead of opens. I think maybe if the light had gone out forever, it would have negated even the afterlife as well as all existence, and that was the whole purpose...
So there you have it, the end of LOST, and after thinking about all of it this morning and writing about it, I'm even happier with the way it ended than I was last night. I know there are going to be a lot of people that are upset that not all the questions from the island were answered and a lot of things still don't make sense, but I think the things people wanted answers to are pretty trivial issues when compared to the overall outcome of the story. I will say that I do have an issue with one thing in the final episode (other than the insane amount of commercials), how the hell did Ben get out from under that tree?!??!??!
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On 12.10.09, In TV, By AC Slater
I can't believe we're already at the 5th season finale of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, it seems like just yesterday that Charlie dressed as a nazi, eating cereal while watching cartoons. Hopefully this finale will live up to the previous seasons finales, I mean The Nightman Cometh was one of the greatest episodes of the show so far, so we'll see. It appears that most of this episode takes place outside of the bar which seems to be the trend lately, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And as always I'll be back tomorrow with the final recap of the season.
The Gang Reignites the Rivalry
After being banned for 10 years from a local drinking competition appropriately named "Flipadelphia," the gang tries to reignite their old rivalry with another local bar. Finding that they are in need of some serious practice, the guys head to Dennis' old fraternity house at the University of Pennsylvania to get their game up to speed while Dee hones her skills on her own. Frank wears skinny pants.
The episode starts with Frank walking into the bar showing off his new skinny jeans, which have a humpty dumpty vibe to them. Dee then walks in and informs the gang that the ban has been lifted and they are allowed to enter the "Flipadelphia" flip cup competition. They were banned from it years ago for poisoning the other teams. Flip, flip, flipadelphia. So with the ban lifted they decide to reignite the rivalry with another bar down the street.
When they make their way over to the other bar the realize that it's been completely redone and looks like a nice establishment, but that doesn't stop them from trashing the place. They walk right into the restaurant and throw customers food around, scream and yell until they finally get the owner. It's at this point that Charlie explains how he keeps his poison in the fridge at home, but apparently he keeps it in a pickle jar which has lead Frank to believe he was allergic to pickles. Frank then asks what was in the jar with the skull and crossbones, Charlie tells him it's mayo and in the mayo jar is shampoo, so apparently Frank has been putting shampoo on his sandwiches.
Back at the bar the gang starts practicing and Dee is absolutely terrible so they need to find a replacement. It's her huge hands that's the problem. They tell her that in order to get back on the team she needs to prove that she can flip 10 cups in a row. Dennis then decides that he's going to go visit his old frat to get some practice in. He walks in and looks at the class picture from his year and finds his picture has the caption "I Chug Dick" over it. In the other room the current residents of the frat house are watching Frank attempt to hula hoop in his skinny jeans. Dennis introduces himself and the frat guys basically just make fun of him and shock him with a stun gun over and over again. Frank then asks if they have any "ludes" to which they say they have riterall which sounds like a combination of ritalin and adderall, "oooh snortski" Frank exclaims as he sees the lines of chopped up pills on the counter and of course he snorts some. Frank and Dennis then get run out of the frat house via taser.
Back at the bar Dennis explains how the frat guys are disrespectful savage idiots. It's at this point that the rivalry switches from the bar owner to the frat guys. Mac and Charlie decide they are going to head over to the frat house and let them know the rivalry is on. Charlie comes up with an idea, he's going to pretend he's a smart janitor like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting although Charlie is only a janitor and not a genius and Mac is not a janitor.
So Mac and Charlie go over to the frat house to find a black light paint party, all the girls are half naked and painted up. Two girls come up to them asking them if they want to paint them up. Flash to Dennis and Frank destroying the other bar owners house. Dennis starts telling Frank about how he was a legend at the frat house, he would pull pranks like shoving a banana in a dudes ass and calling him banana-ass or sticking the tip of his penis in other dudes mouths. As for destroying the other bar owners house Dennis has a more straight forward approach by nailing his shoes to the floor, where as Frank is tying knots in the arms of all his shirts and then proceeds to cut the shower curtain half way so when he gets into the shower everyone can see his junk.
Back at the frat house Charlie and Mac are completely painted up, but are getting kicked out since they aren't in the frat. Charlie then busts into his Good Will Hunting act and makes a complete fool of himself. So back at the house, Frank and Dennis snort some more riterall and Frank decides to do the guys taxes in order to cause him to get audited, meanwhile Dennis has done "it", he's created a masterpiece. "Paddys have respect idiots. I am legend." is burnt into the front lawn.
Back at the bar the gang is back together discussing how the frat guys have burned them all. It's at this point that Dee shows that she's been practicing flip cup and flips 10 cups in a row perfectly, she's back on the team. They decide to go back to the frat house and challenge the guys to a game of flip cup. If the frat guys win, they get to drink at Paddy's forever for free and if the gang wins they get to hang out at the frat house whenever they want. Dee is chosen to go first and Charlie will be the anchor.
The flip game starts and Dee chugs her beer right away, but of course she chokes and can't flip it for shit. Meanwhile, the frat guys have no problem winning the game. However, Dennis, Charlie and Mac put poison in the beer and everyone starts puking, including Dee. They knew she would choke so they put her first and poisoned the beer. Flip, flip, flipadelphia.
Back at the bar the guys are trying to pull the skinny jeans off of Frank as he's losing circulation in his legs. The other bar owner walks in and is pissed because the gang never showed up to the actual "Flipidelphia" contest. He challenges them to another flip cup game at his bar, but the gang isn't having it as they are over the whole rivalry.
I thought it was a pretty solid season finale, but I'm still sad that we won't get any new episodes until next September.
On 12.03.09, In TV, By AC Slater
We're starting to wind down to the end of another amazing season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and what better way to begin to wrap up than to have Charlie write another script, but this time he has Mac's help so I can only imagine what sort of craziness is going to come from this. After this episode there is only one more, so I hope they go out with a bang, but don't worry, "Sunny" will be back again next year as it's already been renewed for at least 2 more seasons if I remember correctly. And as always, I'll be back Friday with a recap of this episode.
Mac and Charlie Write a Movie
When Dee gets a part in an M. Night Shyamalan film, Mac and Charlie seize a chance to pitch their movie script. But first they have to write it.
The episode opens with Mac and Charlie telling a pretty sweet story about them getting locked in a parking garage stairwell until a security guard came and let them out. Only that's not how the story was told, it was much worst. Dennis has a new touch screen phone that Frank gets grease on because his fingers are covered in grease from the sausages he has in his pockets. Dee then comes in and informs everyone that she has been cast in an M. Night Shyamalan movie and that's when Mac and Charlie decide to write a movie. Best part of the conversation is when Charlie starts talking about the twists at the end of all Night's movies and he thinks the twist of The Sixth Sense is that the dude in the bad hairpiece was Bruce Willis.
Dee then heads to the set and thinks she's actually staring in the movie, but is pretty disappointed when she finds out she's just an extra. Cut to Charlie and Mac trying to figure out what kind of movie to make to "get meat in the seats". They decide that they need to make a movie with an underrated actor that will bring him back into the mainstream, Dolph Lundgren. The idea of a muscular scientist that fights crime with his brain and his brawn comes up, as long as the coat doesn't cover his body. Charlie comes up with a twist, the scientist runs around on all fours, it's a science experiment that goes haywire and the guy wakes up "all dog". The twist will be that dolph lundgrum will the voice of the talking dog. This leads to Dolph Lundgren being able to smell crime before it even happens, then Charlie comes up with the brilliant idea that Dolph Lundgren's entire head will be a giant nose.
Dennis is now trying to get into the movie industry and shows up on set with Frank as his agent. Frank gets him a part in the movie as an extra and Dee finds out that she's playing a corpse in the movie. It's at this point that Mac and Charlie come by the set with their pitch and instead of pitching it to "Slumdog" as they call M. Night, they end up pitching the movie to Dennis and Frank. They start pitching the movie, The Fifth Sense, The Sense of Smell.
Imagine a super smart, ripped scientist [in a mesh tank top] played by Dolph Lundgren, who after a terrible accident in his lab, blows off his nose. After reconstructive surgery he soon realizes that he smells something that stinks... crime.
Mac starts pitching the movie after Charlie botches it, but Dennis has some ideas. He wants to add some full penetration scenes to the movie. Dolph will be smelling out crime, then going back to the lab to perform sexual experiments on his lady lab partner. Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration, and that will go on for about 90 minutes before the movie just sort of ends. Frank loves it, but Charlie thinks that audiences will be a little uncomfortable with full penetration. So Mac and Charlie take those ideas and set out to type up the script.
They head to the library, but neither of them know how to type so they find an "indian" guy sitting in front of them, who turns out to be Pakistani, to help them out. Flash back to the movie set and we see Dee in her makeup, basically just covered head to toe in fake blood. Dennis walks up and shows his makeup which is just a drip of blood coming out of his ear. They are called to set and are told to lay on the ground as dead bodies, but Dee does not want to lay face down.
Back to the library, Mac and Charlie and the Pakistani kid are going over ideas from the movie and he's all about the full penetration, but he doesn't like the title. So they ask the kid to type out the script for them, but he doesn't write, so they call Dennis in the middle of his scene to tell him their new plan. Instead of writing a movie they are just going to make a poster of what the movie is instead. Dennis gets yelled at for talking on his phone in the middle of the scene and Dee switches over and starts posing during the take. On the next take, we see the view from the movie camera and Dee is staring at the camera yelling "Brains" like a zombie and Dennis' phone is ringing again, but since the director told Dennis not to answer the phone he just lets it ring. At this point Dee finds out that the shot they are in is just a simple 2nd unit shot so M. Night isn't even there. Then Frank walks up and takes Dennis' phone, then has a solution for the director, fire Dennis and Dee and hire him as a body. So Frank is now in the movie.
Mac and Charlie come into the extra's tent and show off their poster "Crime Stinks: The Smell of Penetration, He Nose the Truth". It's at this point that Dee tells them that Night isn't going to be there and that's when Dennis informs them that while they thought he was just dicking around on his phone all day he was actually writing a script about two guys that get stuck in a parking garage stairwell with a guy they think is a bum but it turns out he's the security guard, instead. Cut back to the movie being shot and as it pans past Frank he sits up and eats the sausage out of his pocket.
Pretty good episode, I found it amusing how they referred to M. Night as "Slumdog" for most of the episode and threw out random twists all over the place. And who doesn't love Dolph Lundgren.
On 11.19.09, In TV, By AC Slater
Another week, another Sunny. This week it appears as though Dennis is going to finally reveal some of his secrets to getting women, although in the past I don't know that we've actually seen him get with too many women so I'm a little leery as to how well this so-called system works. I guess we'll find out tonight! And on a side note, did everyone pick up A Very Sunny Christmas? You can find our review of the ridiculous Christmas special here.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Dennis tells the gang how he seduces women, but none of them can get the hang of it.
I'm warning you now, the recap below got a little long, I may have gotten slightly carried away with documenting everything that was going on, but it seems like they packed a lot of good stuff into this episode.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is the system that Dennis uses to seduce women and make them fall in love with him, even though they don't know how madly in love with him they are, which is evident by the hateful voicemail his last conquest leaves for him, which he proudly plays for the gang. And that is how the show opens, with this voicemail from a girl that is obviously quite pissed off at Dennis. It's at this point that Dennis sits everyone down to the explain the DENNIS system. It's a series of steps, of which the first letters of each step spell out DENNIS, thus the DENNIS system.
D - Demonstrate value
E - Engage Physically
N - Nurturing Dependence
N - Neglect Emotionally
I - Inspire Hope
S - Separate Entirely
Dennis explains how he Demonstrated his value to a cute pharmacist by forging a prescription and and telling her that his grandmother was very sick, thus making himself look like he has value. After explaining this Frank jumps in with his technique. He would have bought a box of magnum condoms thus demonstrating that he has a monster dong, which Dennis shot down and instead suggested that he have a magnum condom peaking out of his pocket when he goes to pay, much better plan.
The next step is to ask her out and move on to the next step which is to engage her physically. Dennis explains that he tries to get to this step to without going on the date at all because it's a waste of time. He takes a girl to a restaurant that doesn't take reservations, but he instead walks her in front of a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays at which point Dennis offers to just get a pizza and watch a movie back at his place. This is where Mac comes in, he sits on the couch pretending that there is a black widow spider in his room so he can't go in there, thus forcing Dennis and the girl to eat pizza and watch a movie on Dennis' bed, which eventually leads to sex. Great line here, when the girl says "Pizza's good" Dennis' response "You're the one that's good", then they start to make out.
The next step comes after you've had sex, naturally all women will then become dependent on you for things. Nurturing dependence is making the girl depend on you for things. Dennis suggests slashing her tires or having her car towed in order for her to depend on your for a ride. Or his personal go to is to create a fictional angry neighbor of which you will take care of. In actuality it's Dennis calling her using a threatening voice, from a pay phone.
The next step is to Neglect Emotionally, stop taking her phone calls, cancel all plans, call her back as the angry neighbor but don't rescue her this time. Dennis' angry laugh when it cuts back to the bar was classic. And this is the best time to move on with the next step to Inspire Hope. Dennis shows up at the girls window and explains that he was distant because he was scared she was going to break his heart at which point they bang. This scene is hysterical, playing Take My Breath Away in the background we see Dennis and the girl against a blue background as they bang. And after the sex comes the last step, Separate Entirely, which is where Dennis sneaks out the window never to see her again.
