We’re starting to wind down to the end of another amazing season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and what better way to begin to wrap up than to have Charlie write another script, but this time he has Mac’s help so I can only imagine what sort of craziness is going to come from this. After this episode there is only one more, so I hope they go out with a bang, but don’t worry, “Sunny” will be back again next year as it’s already been renewed for at least 2 more seasons if I remember correctly. And as always, I’ll be back Friday with a recap of this episode.

Mac and Charlie Write a Movie

When Dee gets a part in an M. Night Shyamalan film, Mac and Charlie seize a chance to pitch their movie script. But first they have to write it.

The episode opens with Mac and Charlie telling a pretty sweet story about them getting locked in a parking garage stairwell until a security guard came and let them out. Only that’s not how the story was told, it was much worst. Dennis has a new touch screen phone that Frank gets grease on because his fingers are covered in grease from the sausages he has in his pockets. Dee then comes in and informs everyone that she has been cast in an M. Night Shyamalan movie and that’s when Mac and Charlie decide to write a movie. Best part of the conversation is when Charlie starts talking about the twists at the end of all Night’s movies and he thinks the twist of The Sixth Sense is that the dude in the bad hairpiece was Bruce Willis.

Dee then heads to the set and thinks she’s actually staring in the movie, but is pretty disappointed when she finds out she’s just an extra. Cut to Charlie and Mac trying to figure out what kind of movie to make to “get meat in the seats”. They decide that they need to make a movie with an underrated actor that will bring him back into the mainstream, Dolph Lundgren. The idea of a muscular scientist that fights crime with his brain and his brawn comes up, as long as the coat doesn’t cover his body. Charlie comes up with a twist, the scientist runs around on all fours, it’s a science experiment that goes haywire and the guy wakes up “all dog”. The twist will be that dolph lundgrum will the voice of the talking dog. This leads to Dolph Lundgren being able to smell crime before it even happens, then Charlie comes up with the brilliant idea that Dolph Lundgren’s entire head will be a giant nose.

Dennis is now trying to get into the movie industry and shows up on set with Frank as his agent. Frank gets him a part in the movie as an extra and Dee finds out that she’s playing a corpse in the movie. It’s at this point that Mac and Charlie come by the set with their pitch and instead of pitching it to “Slumdog” as they call M. Night, they end up pitching the movie to Dennis and Frank. They start pitching the movie, The Fifth Sense, The Sense of Smell.

Imagine a super smart, ripped scientist [in a mesh tank top] played by Dolph Lundgren, who after a terrible accident in his lab, blows off his nose. After reconstructive surgery he soon realizes that he smells something that stinks… crime.

Mac starts pitching the movie after Charlie botches it, but Dennis has some ideas. He wants to add some full penetration scenes to the movie. Dolph will be smelling out crime, then going back to the lab to perform sexual experiments on his lady lab partner. Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration, and that will go on for about 90 minutes before the movie just sort of ends. Frank loves it, but Charlie thinks that audiences will be a little uncomfortable with full penetration. So Mac and Charlie take those ideas and set out to type up the script.

They head to the library, but neither of them know how to type so they find an “indian” guy sitting in front of them, who turns out to be Pakistani, to help them out. Flash back to the movie set and we see Dee in her makeup, basically just covered head to toe in fake blood. Dennis walks up and shows his makeup which is just a drip of blood coming out of his ear. They are called to set and are told to lay on the ground as dead bodies, but Dee does not want to lay face down.

Back to the library, Mac and Charlie and the Pakistani kid are going over ideas from the movie and he’s all about the full penetration, but he doesn’t like the title. So they ask the kid to type out the script for them, but he doesn’t write, so they call Dennis in the middle of his scene to tell him their new plan. Instead of writing a movie they are just going to make a poster of what the movie is instead. Dennis gets yelled at for talking on his phone in the middle of the scene and Dee switches over and starts posing during the take. On the next take, we see the view from the movie camera and Dee is staring at the camera yelling “Brains” like a zombie and Dennis’ phone is ringing again, but since the director told Dennis not to answer the phone he just lets it ring. At this point Dee finds out that the shot they are in is just a simple 2nd unit shot so M. Night isn’t even there. Then Frank walks up and takes Dennis’ phone, then has a solution for the director, fire Dennis and Dee and hire him as a body. So Frank is now in the movie.

Mac and Charlie come into the extra’s tent and show off their poster “Crime Stinks: The Smell of Penetration, He Nose the Truth”. It’s at this point that Dee tells them that Night isn’t going to be there and that’s when Dennis informs them that while they thought he was just dicking around on his phone all day he was actually writing a script about two guys that get stuck in a parking garage stairwell with a guy they think is a bum but it turns out he’s the security guard, instead. Cut back to the movie being shot and as it pans past Frank he sits up and eats the sausage out of his pocket.

Pretty good episode, I found it amusing how they referred to M. Night as “Slumdog” for most of the episode and threw out random twists all over the place. And who doesn’t love Dolph Lundgren.

Another week, another Sunny. This week it appears as though Dennis is going to finally reveal some of his secrets to getting women, although in the past I don’t know that we’ve actually seen him get with too many women so I’m a little leery as to how well this so-called system works. I guess we’ll find out tonight! And on a side note, did everyone pick up A Very Sunny Christmas? You can find our review of the ridiculous Christmas special here.

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

Dennis tells the gang how he seduces women, but none of them can get the hang of it.

I’m warning you now, the recap below got a little long, I may have gotten slightly carried away with documenting everything that was going on, but it seems like they packed a lot of good stuff into this episode.

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is the system that Dennis uses to seduce women and make them fall in love with him, even though they don’t know how madly in love with him they are, which is evident by the hateful voicemail his last conquest leaves for him, which he proudly plays for the gang.  And that is how the show opens, with this voicemail from a girl that is obviously quite pissed off at Dennis. It’s at this point that Dennis sits everyone down to the explain the DENNIS system. It’s a series of steps, of which the first letters of each step spell out DENNIS, thus the DENNIS system.

D – Demonstrate value
E – Engage Physically
N – Nurturing Dependence
N – Neglect Emotionally
I – Inspire Hope
S – Separate Entirely

Dennis explains how he Demonstrated his value to a cute pharmacist by forging a prescription and and telling her that his grandmother was very sick, thus making himself look like he has value. After explaining this Frank jumps in with his technique. He would have bought a box of magnum condoms thus demonstrating that he has a monster dong, which Dennis shot down and instead suggested that he have a magnum condom peaking out of his pocket when he goes to pay, much better plan.

The next step is to ask her out and move on to the next step which is to engage her physically. Dennis explains that he tries to get to this step to without going on the date at all because it’s a waste of time. He takes a girl to a restaurant that doesn’t take reservations, but he instead walks her in front of a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays at which point Dennis offers to just get a pizza and watch a movie back at his place. This is where Mac comes in, he sits on the couch pretending that there is a black widow spider in his room so he can’t go in there, thus forcing Dennis and the girl to eat pizza and watch a movie on Dennis’ bed, which eventually leads to sex. Great line here, when the girl says “Pizza’s good” Dennis’ response “You’re the one that’s good”, then they start to make out.

The next step comes after you’ve had sex, naturally all women will then become dependent on you for things. Nurturing dependence is making the girl depend on you for things. Dennis suggests slashing her tires or having her car towed in order for her to depend on your for a ride. Or his personal go to is to create a fictional angry neighbor of which you will take care of. In actuality it’s Dennis calling her using a threatening voice, from a pay phone.

The next step is to Neglect Emotionally, stop taking her phone calls, cancel all plans, call her back as the angry neighbor but don’t rescue her this time. Dennis’ angry laugh when it cuts back to the bar was classic. And this is the best time to move on with the next step to Inspire Hope. Dennis shows up at the girls window and explains that he was distant because he was scared she was going to break his heart at which point they bang. This scene is hysterical, playing Take My Breath Away in the background we see Dennis and the girl against a blue background as they bang. And after the sex comes the last step, Separate Entirely, which is where Dennis sneaks out the window never to see her again.

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Based on the preview alone this looks like a great episode. They didn’t show much of the Mac and Dennis break up, but they did show what happened to Dee’s cat. Somehow the cat got into the wall of her apartment and she can’t find him to get him out so Charlie comes up with the idea to tie a string to another cat and put it in the wall and once the two cats bond he’s going to pull the cat out, bringing Dee’s cat with it. The only problem is when Charlie pulls the string there is no cat on the other end, so now there are two cats stuck in the walls. Pure genius.

Mac and Dennis Break Up

Mac and Dennis decide to take a break from each other, a development that strains relationships. Meanwhile, “kitten mitten” Charlie helps Dee find her lost cat.

So normally how I do this is I’ll watch the episode when it airs (or slightly after on the DVR) and then write a recap which publishes early in the morning on Friday. Well last night had some conflicts, I still got to watch the episode, but it wasn’t until after the Bears game (which was shitty) so I didn’t stay up to write a recap. So seeing as how I’m not in front of my DVR at the moment I’m going to try to recap the episode from memory rather than watching as I’m writing. So if I miss anything feel free to let me know in the comments. And I will preface this recap by saying that honestly, I was not too impressed with the episode last night.

The episode starts off with Mac and Dennis barging in on Dee’s apartment looking for a giant bowl to hold popcorn for their Thursday movie night. They are going to watch Predator again for what is apparently like the 30th time in 2 months, but more on that later. So they go to Dee’s to get a giant bowl and discover that she has recently bought a cat to keep her company. She tries to explain why she bought a cat; she’s lonely, needs someone to talk to, etc… and Mac and Dennis inform her that she’s taking the first step to becoming a crazy cat lady, yet she doesn’t believe them and instead flips it and tells them that she has never seen two grown men that can’t go an hour without checking in with one another. They both had to come and get a bowl together, which is clearly a one person job, but Mac was there to hold the bowl while Dennis made snide comments about Dee, although the only one he could come up with was that she looked like a bird…

After the intro we have Mac looking a little frantic as he’s on his cell phone near the window of his and Dennis’ apartment. Dennis comes back into the apartment and Mac asks him where he was and why he wasn’t answering his phone. Dennis tells him that he was at the video store renting a movie and he couldn’t answer because he was talking to the clerk about movie recommendations. Still all flustered, Mac asks him why he didn’t respond to his “911″ texts. Again Dennis tells him he was talking to the Clerk and asks Mac what the emergency was, to which he responds that the emergency was that Dennis wasn’t answering his calls and that he almost called the police to report him missing. There’s a little more banter between the two regarding the movie store clerk which makes Mac jealous, then Dennis informs him that he rented Transporter 2 instead of Predator. Mac gets a little upset about this and they start arguing about Jason Stathom and the combined body mass of the actors in Predator and just general weird shit about the bodies of the guys in Predator. It’s at this point that Dennis informs Mac that he thinks they need some time apart and Mac should go stay at Charlie’s apartment. As Mac is standing in the door way to his room, there is a knock on the front door. Dennis opens it to find a cop standing there who says he’s responding to a missing persons call…

Dennis decides to go back to Dee’s and watch the movie with her, but when he gets there he discovers that she has a little bit of a situation with her cat. Somehow the cat has gotten itself stuck in the walls and she can’t seem to get him out. Meanwhile Mac goes over to Charlie’s apartment and immediately starts bugging the shit out of Frank and Charlie by cleaning up the trash and suggesting a better way to clean a cut on Frank’s toe that he got from botching his toe nail cutting which he uses a steak knife for. So Dennis calls Charlie and asks him if he wants to come over to Dee’s place to watch a movie with him and he’s a little hesitant at first until he hears about the cat situation, then he’s all over it. In the background Mac is constantly asking if Dennis is asking about him which also helps Charlie leave the apartment.

Upon arriving at Dee’s, Charlie finds Dennis and Dee arguing about the skin of an apple. Apparently whenever Dennis would eat apples Mac would peel the skin off of them for him because he claimed they were full of toxins and he didn’t want Dennis eating them. So after arguing for a bit Dee peels the apple for Dennis as Charlie and Dee come up with a plan to get the cat out of the wall. After leaving cheeto stains on the wall Charlie decides that the best plan of action is to put another cat in the wall with a string attached to it, that cat will then bond with Dee’s cat and once that happens, Charlie will pull the string and both cats will come out of the wall. Yeah, well the string breaks and now there are 2 cats in the wall and the only other idea Charlie has is to put more cats in the wall, but Dee has a better plan, she’s going to go buy a bird and put that in the wall to lure the cats out.

Before Dee leaves, Frank randomly shows up as he can’t deal with Mac around the apartment anymore. He cleaned everything, put plastic on the couch and flipped out at Frank when he started eating an apple that had the skin on it and then when Frank goes to peel it, Mac flips out again because Frank was using his Toe nail knife to peel it. So now at Dee’s apartment Frank and Charlie are working on the cat situation when Dennis comes in telling them he just ate an Apple seed and doesn’t know if that’s good or not. Frank says it’s fine but Dee and Charlie convince Dennis that he needs to make himself throw up, so he gets all nervous and goes to make himself throw up the seeds. It’s at this point that Dee leaves to get the bird and decides that she needs to get Mac and Dennis back together.

Mac is now sitting at a fancy restaurant waiting for what he thinks is a large breasted woman that Dee is setting him up with, but instead, Dennis walks in with Dee and sits down. Immediately Mac throws a glass of water on him and then Dennis does the same to Mac. They argue a bit and eventually realize that they need to be together. At this point the waiter walks over and tells them that they have to pay and leave, Dennis informs him that, that’s fine because they didn’t have anything, but then Mac says that he had a couple rum and cokes. The waiter chimes in saying that Mac had 6 rum and cokes to which Mac replies that he was nervous about the large breasted woman he was supposed to meet. Dennis offers to bail him out and everything is good between them.

Meanwhile, Dee shows up back at the apartment with her bird to find that there are cats all over the place and Frank and Charlie have shoved more cats in the wall. She ties a string to the birds leg and puts it in the wall only to get eaten by the cats. Fed up with the whole situation, she bashes a bigger hole in the wall and climbs in to get the cat, only she gets stuck and cannot back out. At this point Frank and Charlie are bored and decide to leave Dee stuck in the wall telling here that she should really get a sidekick to help her get out of situations like that… the end.

So after thinking about it a bit, the episode wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. I thought the cat storyline was funnier than the Mac/Dennis stuff, but none of it was laugh out loud funny like the previous week.

What did you guys think?

Animated Gifs after the jump!!

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This is the episode of It’s Always Sunny that I’ve been waiting for. The very first promo clip I saw for the new season was of Charlie asking “Does your cat make too, much, noise? Then try kitten mittens” as he sits on the couch watching a cat awkwardly walk across the coffee table in front of him, subsequently falling off the edge, classic. Hopefully the rest of the episode lives up to the promo clip.

Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

With a merchandising convention in town, the gang tries to build the Paddy’s brand by developing marketable products, such as mittens for kittens.

Updated: Added some animated gifs from this episode after the jump.

Another classic episode. We start off with Charlie’s video pitch for “Kitten Mittons!!”, yes mittons with an “o”. The best part is when the cat walks along the coffee table in front him and then falls off the edge, same thing that we saw in the promo clips, but it’s still hysterical. Charlie then explains to the gang that there is a merchandising convention in town and he’s going to try to sell his kitten mitten idea. The guys decide they want to get into merchandising Paddy’s, but Dee informs them that when they made her sign a contract, which was only supposed to allow the guys to pay her less than minimum wage, there was a clause that gave her 100% of the merchandising rights to Paddy’s. Of course as soon as she pulls the contract out of a drawer, Mac grabs it and proceeds to eat it, thus negating the contract so the guys are now free to sell merchandise promoting Paddy’s.

Frank wants to go in a different direction that Mac and Dennis, he wants to sell green hard boiled eggs with Paddy’s written on them that you can sit on your desk or car dashboard… it was probably the stupidest idea ever. Meanwhile, Dee and Charlie go pay a visit to the lawyer, who has now made his 3rd appearance on the show, to ask about patenting kitten mittens and if Dee can sue the guys for breach of contract. Needless to say the lawyer is not happy to see them especially when he finds out that the reason they got into his office was because they locked his secretary in a closet.

Back to Mac and Dennis, they each come up with a different idea for their merchandise. Dennis comes up with Paddy’s thongs and proceeds to wear it around to show Mac. Mac comes up with the dick towel, which you can apparently buy at dicktowel.com, it is a towel with the outline of a naked ass on the back and on the front is an comically large dick or if you swap it around it’s a comically small dick. Dennis loves the dick towel and they decide that they should go with that, that is until Frank barges in with his new idea. Frank comes up with the gun shot, which is basically a gun that shoots shots into your mouth only Frank couldn’t figure out how to make a gun shoot shots so he has some hot chick following him around and when he points the gun in Mac’s face, the chick just throws a shot in his eyes. Needless to say, Mac and Dennis decide to steal the gun idea, but instead of a handgun they use a shotgun.

While the guys are doing all this merchandising, Dee and Charlie are still annoying the hell out of the lawyer by trying to blackmail him for cheating on his wife. Turns out his wife is actually leaving him and he’s been forced to sleep in a seedy motel because of it, not because he’s cheating. Classic moment is when Charlie and Dee are staking him out in a car when he sees them and starts walking towards them, not knowing what to do Dee and Charlie slump down in the car hoping he won’t see them… yeah, it’s his car. So that doesn’t work out well and the lawyer kicks them out and explains his divorce situation hoping they’d leave him alone.

Back at the lawyers office, Dee and Charlie feel bad about the whole divorce thing and never paying the guy, so they decide to buy him a prostitute to make up for it. I’m not sure how they could afford the hooker instead of just paying him outright, but whatever. So as Dee and Charlie are presenting the hooker to the lawyer as payment as well as trying to get a patent on kitten mittens, Mac and Dennis barge in with their own large breasted woman as they are trying to get a patent on the gun shot and the large breasted woman… yeah, no idea. And of course, Frank then barges in with his hot chick (who is Kristen De Luca in case you were wondering) trying to sue Mac and Dennis for stealing his idea. So in the end the lawyer decides to help all of them out and presents a compromise for each of their situations which they all agree upon. He also does not like Dennis’ idea of a “frame bang” where Dennis would sneak into his house and have sex with his wife while she is asleep, thus giving the lawyer the excuse that she cheated on him.

Later, at the merchandise convention the gang presents their pitch video to try and get some investors. It’s the worst video ever, basically just the 3 chicks dancing around in bikinis blasting people in the face with shot-guns while Dennis jumps in to promote his nudie pen and Mac gives a shout out to the dick towel. Needless to say they did not get any investors, however, Charlie’s kitten mittens were a huge hit and he did manage to find someone to give him money. At which point the lawyer walks in and explains that the contracts he drew up, that they all signed without reading, gave him 100% of the profit to any merchandise licensed to Paddy’s as well as the rights to Kitten Mittens and a restraining order against all of them. When Mac asks to see a copy of the contract he immediately eats it, but of course the lawyer has 100’s of copies, but for some reason Mac continues to eat it until Dennis tells him he can stop…

I thought this was a great episode overall with the videos they made being the best, but it wasn’t until I saw the promo video for the dick towel, which I will embed later, that the sheer brilliance of the videos shows.

For those wondering who the busty chicks on this episode were, Franks girl is Kristen De Luca, Charlie/Dee’s blond prostitute is Heather Chadwell (from Rock of Love) and Mac/Dennis’ freakish brunette is Dahlia Dark. (Thanks to alwayssunnybarfly for the last 2)

Animated gifs after the jump

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This week Charlie may be losing the love of his life, the Waitress, as she apparently is getting married, although I have a feeling it’s just a ploy to get Charlie to leave her alone, but we’ll see. I also think this is the episode where Frank and Artemis hook up. They like to put bacon bits in Artemis’ hair so she can pretend she’s a cobb salad…. nice. As always I’ll be back tomorrow to give a rundown of the full episode.

The Waitress is Getting Married

The Waitress is getting married, and Dee’s jealous because she isn’t. Meanwhile, the guys try to get the lovelorn Charlie back into the dating scene.

This season just keeps getting better and better. Last nights episode revolved around the Waitress getting married to some guy that Dee apparently dated in high school, but dumped when he developed terrible acne. The fact that Charlie’s dream worman was getting married caused the guys to try to distract Charlie until the whole thing played out.

So the episode starts with Dee trying on wedding dresses at a store, she’s not getting married, but she likes to try on the dresses anyways. As she’s trying on dresses a guy recognizes her and they start talking, it’s the guy that Dee dated in high school. He mentions that he’s getting married and brings out his fiance, the Waitress.

Meanwhile back at the bar, the guys looking up at a bee hive in the corner. It was a pretty ridiculous bee hive and Charlie was poking it with a broom handle, but he wasn’t worried about being stung he was more worried about ruining the honey inside. He wanted to take the hive and move it to the basement so that they would always have delicious honey. It turns out it was a hornets nest and the Charlie wasn’t sure if they produced honey or not, but either way he figured there was something delicious inside and he wanted to keep it.

So Dee wants to try to sabotage this wedding so she decides to throw a party for the waitress and dude at her apartment. She gets Mac and Charlie’s moms to come over as well as Frank and Artemis. Apparently Dee bribed Mrs. Mac with a carton of cigarettes if she would just tell the dude that the waitress looks like her when she was younger in attempts to scare off the dude. Also, Charlie’s mom is supposed to freak out at the Waitress because she’s hurting Charlie. And while all this is going on Frank and Artemis are going through the fridge trying to find bacon bits because when Frank and Artemis bang they like to put bacon bits in her hair as it makes her feel like a Cobb Salad…. no idea.

So the Waitress and dude come over to Dee’s and it’s just really awkward as Dee tries to break them up. Nothing goes as planned and Charlie’s mom ends up throwing a drink all over Dee instead of the Waitress while Mrs. Mac is passed out, wakes up, says her bit and just sits there asking for her cigs. It also comes up in conversation that Frank banged the Waitress.

Meanwhile Mac and Dennis are trying to get Charlie back out in the dating scene to keep his mind off the Waitress, even though they haven’t told him yet. So they head over to Charlie’s apartment to find him blowing smoke through a tube into a cardboard box filled with hornets. He was trying to agitate them into producing whatever byproduct they produce, but the bees keep flying up the tube and stinging him in the face/mouth so he has some weird welts on his face and neck, but Mac and Dennis are just there to get him to answer a few questions for an online dating profile. Charlie’s favorite food is milk steak, his hobby is magnets, his favorite thing is ghouls and his dislikes are people’s knees, so Mac and Dennis just decide to make the profile themselves later.

So Charlie eventually gets a date with a pretty cute asian lawyer at a fancy restaurant, but things don’t go so well. Before the woman gets there Mac and Dennis are giving Charlie a few words of advice, but he can’t concentrate because he’s so nervous and sweating through his shirt. The guys tell him that they put he’s a philanthropist on his profile and to just go with that, but when the woman comes to meet him and asks what he does all he can say is that he’s a “full on rapist” at which point he gets nervous and goes to the bathroom to meet Mac and Dennis. While in the bathroom Charlie tries to get Dennis to switch shirts with him because by this point he’s completely soaked, but Dennis refuses and sends him back out there. So Charlie gets back to the table and explains to the woman that it took so long because he was trying to switch shirts with this guy and the guy wasn’t having it. At which point Dennis comes over pretending to be the manager of the restaurant which Charlie mistakes for a waiter and orders milk steak boiled over hard, and then Mac comes over making the suggestion that Charlie and his date go bang in the closet…. she leaves and Charlie gets pissed, at which point Dennis tells him that the Waitress is getting married.

So back to Dee, the Waitress and dude. Needless to say the Waitress and dude leave and Dee is pretty pissed, but 5 seconds later there is a knock on the door, it’s dude. He tells Dee that he still loves her and she gets all excited. Fast forward to the next day, Charlie brings an engagement present over to dude at his house, it’s the cardboard box of hornets. Dude tells Charlie that the engagement is off and Charlie starts to feel bad about the box of bees, but then Dude explains that he was never going to marry the Waitress and that he was just going around and getting engaged to all the girls that made fun of him or dumped him in high school because he no longer looks like a pizza face, at which point he then tells Charlie that he’s now doing the same thing to Dee which makes Charlie reconsider and he gives him the box of bees anyways.

Pretty good episode, I’m sure I missed some stuff, usually I rewatch the episode in the morning and write this as I’m watching it, but I didn’t have time this morning so I’m just going by memory. So what did you guys think of the episode?

Some gifs and pictures after the jump

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